It was the lifestyle mag wot won it

Wapping was one thing. Accusing Liverpool fans of pissing on the dead was pretty bad. And Fox News wrongly declaring George W Bush President left a sour taste. But nothing, nothing, is as low as Loveit! Magazine. The prick-teaser.

Though I do wish their adverts featured Kevin 'Loveit!' Keegan

Someone's in a bad mood

The rumbles could be heard overground
As it left the station, frowning
Time was delayed
On a circle
Carrying smoke and unwanted dirt

The rain didn't touch it
It shivered on stone rails
Music played
No one danced
A struggle to destination

Emerging into a cold wind
And a damp that touched the nostrils
It was over
There was colour
And life itself can start again

Je suis terrrorist

'Brown Someone who smokes in a public place is effectively a very slow suicide bomber.' - Armando Ianucci, The Observer

When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed

What happened to the white bands? The ones which played Live 8. And Kanye West, who played philadelphia.

Nine of the sixteen Brit Awards went to people who appeared at Live 8, and who didn't have a fucking thing to say when they were given a microphone and an audience.

They were:
coldplay
kanye west
kaiser chiefs
madonna
green day

Dear Jordan

In our toilet, in my house, we keep a lot o' celeb magazines to read while taking a dump. Here's the sub-headings from Jordan's letters page (OK Magazine):
'My Boyfriend Refuses to Kiss me!'
'I kissed his Best Friend!'
'I have No Mates'
'How can I get him to Notice Me?'
'He Wants me Back'
'I was raped'

A review

The USA had Vietnam, we had Thalidomide. And now we have something fit to remember it by, Thalidomide! A Musical.

It has a proper good story, is funny, and there's music too. It's slapstick and articulate, well-acted and heart-warming, and way better than that Jerry Springer Musical everyone goes on about. It's on at the perfect venue, where you can comfortably see the expressive faces of Kate Winslet's sister and Matt Fraser, and where Matt Fraser's voice has an intimate punk-charm, rather than a lack of big-stage training.

I'd give it 7 stars, because Time Out's 6 just don't suffice. It warrants Matt Fraser having a Wikipedia entry, if he wants one. And in the words of Anna Winslet's schoolgirl character, it makes me wish I had little arms.

Quote

"I've got a poo practically falling out of my bottom"
Melanie Towers (my girlfriend), too early this morning.

He moves in mysterious ways

Welcome Home You never left

FOR SALE

Will work for anyone
This is what blogging is about- stories from people whose voices would otherwise go unheard, who have been prejudiced against for no reason other than where they were born, and that remind us how lucky we are to not be them. Imagine if Nelson Mandela had a blog