The human condition

Choice is a profound thing. This curious sensation of not knowing the future, yet being propelled to invent it. In the night, many times, I have been to the toilet. Not so many times that it is a medical problem (polyuria, nocturia), but there have been many nights in my life (9,619), so many opportunities to go to the toilet. In my new flat, our bathroom has no windows. This means that there is a noisy extractor fan, activated in symphony with the lights. My electricity monitor has shown me that this uses its fair share of electricity, so I prefer not to use it. So I piss, into the dark, and sometimes the sound that rebounds at me is that sonic mixture of water on water and water on ceramic. Knowing that the best way to urinate is into nothing but the water, I must choose. Left or right? You would not believe the amount of times everything goes quiet, then the dampened sound of water on carpet, or water on magazine. Often followed by the sound of the lightswitch, the extractor fan, and a snigger. But it's worth it, for the feeling. When the returning noise is water on water, and I can leave, having saved using the lightswitch, feeling like a man.

That's the best thing I'm ever going to write, so there's probably not much point in continuing this blog. Oh well. If it does continue, you'll be the first to know. Bye.