Is there anyone out there

Sadly, I can't pick up Channel 5 in South Africa. Could one of my 'Harmette' groupies please record Columbo from 15.30-17.30, today, on channel 5? It stars Johnny Cash. I love Johnny Cash, and have been practising my impersonations of him- I have been walking around saying: "Hello, I'm Steve Harmison" to the only two people who visit me: Duncan 'Fletch' Fletcher, and Andrew 'Straussy' Strauss, who comes to the hospital to play some games he learned at public school. I still don't like these games, but I like the company. He's made up a special game for me called 'Ring of Fire', because I missed everyone playing it before we won the third test. I find the game quite painful, and Straussy says I can't tell the doctors about it, especially the part where he puts the fire out. But I think they've noticed I'm not making the progress they expected, and they notice me crying at night-time.

Today, I get to watch the one day game. I'm very excited about it. I'm going to take my air rifle and sit in the top row and play Army.