Selected things found in my notebook
Sacked by the Department of Cunts
"Iain, can you come in here for a moment."
"Uh oh"
"Iain, Human Resources have been contacted by Industrial Relations about your e-mail usage."
"Oh yeah."
"Some of the content has been explicit and breached government policy. There's also been a very high volume of e-mails to one person outside the building. You also forwarded an e-mail that was against the e-mail policy to someone in the office. Usually, this would be a disciplinary matter. However, it is policy to not have disciplinaries for temps. We just terminte the contract."
"Oh. Double plus bad."
Reasons to not write in a note-book when depressed (this was some time ago, so don't worry)
"I'm tired as fuck & wondering where I'll be when I finish my non-drinking, in 6 months time, in 3 years time, in 30 years time. Will I be a nurse? A writer? An echo of a noisy friend's presence. That friend being X.
I often wonder like this. compare myself to friends. Imagine their brilliance and my muted ambition. But it does no good, and it's not true. It's me trying to compel myself & being competitive, and looking for a stick to beat myself with. That stick over there, in the future.
I'll accept these thoughts, tire, and move on.
Chase up Z about mercernary groups.
Put out recycling."
Things not to write coming from the mouth of doodle of a man with a beard
"I'm Robert Winston. You're a good boy. A nice, big, good boy. Now bend over."
poem?
Tryin to work out how to make you less pissed off
Wondering why we went out
On penalties
How are we so poor
In this country, in this world
Is this our lot, how it's meant to be
Until we're older
Poetry is a learning curve, that peaked at fourteen, and is now an attempt, to re-climb, that purile apex
Never wee in another man's pocket
And never look at his cock
Don't try to talk
Unless it's a friend
Or unless you know everyone's drunk
Never fish out a coin
Or moan or groan
But whistle
And pee
Or cough when you plop
Never ask for advice
Or try to go twice
Be nice
Not too nice
To nutters who mutter from vice
When you get to the sink
Wash if you've been seen
And if a man tries
To make your hands dry
Shake your head and don't blink
"Iain, can you come in here for a moment."
"Uh oh"
"Iain, Human Resources have been contacted by Industrial Relations about your e-mail usage."
"Oh yeah."
"Some of the content has been explicit and breached government policy. There's also been a very high volume of e-mails to one person outside the building. You also forwarded an e-mail that was against the e-mail policy to someone in the office. Usually, this would be a disciplinary matter. However, it is policy to not have disciplinaries for temps. We just terminte the contract."
"Oh. Double plus bad."
Reasons to not write in a note-book when depressed (this was some time ago, so don't worry)
"I'm tired as fuck & wondering where I'll be when I finish my non-drinking, in 6 months time, in 3 years time, in 30 years time. Will I be a nurse? A writer? An echo of a noisy friend's presence. That friend being X.
I often wonder like this. compare myself to friends. Imagine their brilliance and my muted ambition. But it does no good, and it's not true. It's me trying to compel myself & being competitive, and looking for a stick to beat myself with. That stick over there, in the future.
I'll accept these thoughts, tire, and move on.
Chase up Z about mercernary groups.
Put out recycling."
Things not to write coming from the mouth of doodle of a man with a beard
"I'm Robert Winston. You're a good boy. A nice, big, good boy. Now bend over."
poem?
Tryin to work out how to make you less pissed off
Wondering why we went out
On penalties
How are we so poor
In this country, in this world
Is this our lot, how it's meant to be
Until we're older
Poetry is a learning curve, that peaked at fourteen, and is now an attempt, to re-climb, that purile apex
Never wee in another man's pocket
And never look at his cock
Don't try to talk
Unless it's a friend
Or unless you know everyone's drunk
Never fish out a coin
Or moan or groan
But whistle
And pee
Or cough when you plop
Never ask for advice
Or try to go twice
Be nice
Not too nice
To nutters who mutter from vice
When you get to the sink
Wash if you've been seen
And if a man tries
To make your hands dry
Shake your head and don't blink
posted by Steve Harmison | 7:17 AM
1 Comments:
That's a great story. Waiting for more. » » »
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